Wednesday 27th February

Why Avram Grant must go...

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I’m not much of an art historian, but had Michelangelo been sacked from the Sistine Chapel gig for being a bit of a prima donna and generally annoying the Catholic hierarchy, I suspect the incumbent Pope wouldn’t have called in Luigi’s Painters and Decorators and asked them to whack a dollop or two of emulsion into the gaps.

“Don’t you worry, Popey old son - my boy Luigi Jr. will sort it. He’s a bit like Botticelli, but handier with a Black and Decker. We’ll have a spot of panelling over those frescos, drop of magnolia to cover the heavenly choir of cherubs, lovely job…”

I suspect you probably know where I’m going with this cheap line in faux-satire. But I have to find some humour in the current situation down at the Bridge as I’d be crying if I couldn’t.

Monday 25th February

League Cup Final review: Chelsea 1 - 2 Tottenham Hotspur (AET)

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Match reports

The Times, Martin Samuel: "If this was a triumph for Jonathan Woodgate, Tottenham and Juande Ramos - who has been at White Hart Lane less than four months - it was a catastrophe for Chelsea’s regime under Avram Grant. There was nothing to suggest that Grant has advanced the club one iota since the departure of Jose Mourinho, who, Chelsea fans will recall, never lost a final in three seasons. Grant’s team bore more than a passing resemblance to the one that got Mourinho the sack in September. They played dull, direct football, with their most inventive player, Joe Cole, stranded on the sidelines. And they lost. This is what happens when an owner phones a friend instead of a manager with vision, which is what Tottenham sought once it had been decided that Martin Jol was not the man fo

Thursday 21st February

League Cup Final preview: Chelsea v. Spurs; beware the crazy people...

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There must have been a full moon sometime over the last few days. Everywhere you look this week, some very odd things have been happening (snow in Athens?) and there seem to have been hordes of delusional people hogging the headlines.

They’ve been prancing merrily around in our calm waters of reason when they should be restricted to occupying the sun loungers on Insanity Beach. And many of them seem to be closely connected to football, which is a worrying barometer as to the collective mental state of the national game.

Wednesday 20th February

Champions League: Olympiakos 0 - 0 Chelsea

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Match reports

The Times, Matt Hughes: "Grant was employed to echo Ruud Gullit by introducing sexy football, but this performance was about as attractive as one of his ill-fitting tracksuits."

The Independent, Jason Burtat: "Chelsea had arrived in Athens in a fierce snowstorm which prevented many of their fans from making it to the game and, although the snows melted, the football stayed frozen. Some of those supporters had taken up offers from airlines which had cancelled flights to head somewhere else. It pro

Sunday 17th February

FA Cup: Chelsea 3 - 1 Huddersfield Town

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Match reports

Independent on Sunday, Ronald Atkin: "Though they duly headed back north empty-handed, Huddersfield, players and supporters alike, had the traditional grand day out in London beloved of FA Cup minnows and for a gloriously unbelievable quarter of an hour at the start of the second half, were actually holding the world's richest team 1-1. Then reality, in the shape of the sublime Frank Lampard, set in and Chelsea are through to the quarter-finals, their dream of a four-trophy season still afloat."

Monday 11th February

Premier League: Chelsea 0 - 0 Liverpool

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Match reports

Daily Telegraph, John Ley: "On an afternoon of missed opportunities for both sides, Liverpool can at least take solace from their first point away from home against any other of the Big Four under Rafael Benitez. The Spaniard also reaffirmed his ability to frustrate Chelsea's ambitions as this draw prevented Avram Grant's team from moving to within three points of the Premier League lead."

The Guardian, Kevin McCarra: "This reopens the debate about Avram Grant, who has overseen a commendable set of results since he took over from Jose Mourinho in late September. Doubters who sneered that he had not been put properly to the tes

Friday 8th February

Premier League preview: Chelsea v. Liverpool; thieves in the temple...

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It is of course a coincidence that during the week of the Liverpool game, my thoughts have turned to theft and skulduggery. Have you noticed how much pilfering has been going on of late?

From the grand level of pinching whereby an insouciant Frenchman seems to have ‘lost’ his employers a few billion Euros, to a spot of pastry theft in the European City of Culture, someone, somewhere has been on the take. In fact, I’ve had your wristwatch while you’ve been reading this.

But the best 21st century thefts are always the ones which are spun as progress. News emerged yesterday that all 20 Premier League clubs had gathered round their communal trough and pondered how to get their hands on some more cash.

Well, you have to fund your star player’s next hyper-expensive sports car, tasteful 48 bedroom dwelling and pay-off for the old slapper he shagged up the ars

Wednesday 6th February

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Sunday 3rd February

Premier League: Portsmouth 1 - 1 Chelsea

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Match reports

The Observer, Stuart Barnes: "Delight for Jermain Defoe, disappointment for Chelsea and another twist in a fascinating Premier League championship race from a match that ebbed and flowed entertainingly throughout."

Independent on Sunday, Ronald Atkin: "In a midfield containing the world-renowned likes of Michael Ballack and Claude Makelele, Lassana Diarra shone like a Portsmouth harbour light, forever prompting, setting up attacks at one end and closing them down at the other. It was the sort of performance which covered up weakne